Rule #1 to get my hoard under control

I have been meditating and praying on how I could stop this hoarding cycle.  It has become so overwhelming…the large amount of stuff that has accumulated in my house.  The playroom, my laundry room, full basement and double garage has become packed wall to wall.  Somehow over the past 10 years I have filled these rooms to the point that you need “trails” to walk through them.  My remaining rooms in the house are cluttered but still functioning fine.  I can vacuum them, I can clean them and I can cook in them. But I feel if I don’t stop this clutter cycle now…the rest of the rooms will fall into the same hoarded fate as the others.  I turned to God for guidance and direction.   A friend introduced me to Gabby Bernstein and Wayne Dyer on YouTube.  I learned how to meditate and clear my mind to connect to the “Higher Self.”  As I meditated listening to Reiki healing music on YouTube,  the first rule came to me.  It was a pretty simple message but powerful to me nonetheless.

“I need more stuff going out than coming in.”

My first “A-HA moment” finally came to me.  So simple, so easy, so direct.  The flow of stuff that enters into my home quickly exceeds the amount of stuff going out.  To start, I got to build a mental “Hoover Dam” to stop the flow of items coming in.  Most importantly, I need to stop some addictions like shopping, picking up curb treasures and  yard sales.  I decided to do a “No Spend” month where I do not buy anything that is a “want.”  I only pay for bills, gas, groceries and emergencies.  This is also a double bonus because I am doing the Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps and this will help me finish Baby Step 2 quicker as well.  During this month I will sort, toss and donate my clutter.  The flow of stuff going out will be greater than the coming in.  I’m looking forward to the end of the month because I am confident I will start to see less boxes, stuff and clutter.  I already have 6 large bags for Goodwill ready to go!

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A Little Bit About Myself

As I write this blog about my journey of freeing myself of hoarding, I chose to keep myself anonymous for now.  I am not ready to reveal who I am, because I am still ashamed of my hoarding.  I am afraid people will judge me wrongly and quickly look at me as a person who is lazy, dirty and disgusting.  I am not ready to be associated with the stigma of a hoarder publicly.  I am still in the vulnerable stage of admitting this truth about myself.  I feel a lot of other hoarders feel the same way as I do and that is why we hide it.  But I am none of those qualities of lazy, dirty or disgusting.  I am actually happy, loving, nurturing, giving and a hard worker.  I am a mother of two thriving energetic young boys.  I have a passion for crafts, art and creating.  I love to write in my journal and have done so since I was a little girl.  I feel such passion when I help other people and truly enjoy volunteering.  The only flaw I feel in my heart about myself, is this need to hoard objects and hold onto them as if they were part of my identity.  But I will transform this flaw into my strength and help others who struggle with it as well.  I want people to realize that it is a mental struggle to let go of their hoard but that there is always hope to change that pattern.  There is always love to replace the fears.  I will be successful in this journey and it will bring such freedom to reveal who I am in the future: a woman who broke free of her mental chains and shared to the world how she did it.

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The Journey Begins

This is my story of how I struggle with hoarding.  I’ve reached a point in my life where I want to stop these habits and explain how I feel as I clean and sort all of the clutter.  I want people to understand how I mentally struggle with separating myself with items so they can understand why people hoard.  This will be a blog where you can read my victories and failures as I clean my entire house.  The purpose of my journey is changing my mindset of a hoarder to someone who is free of their clutter.  My intention is to help other people be empathetic towards their loved ones who hoard and to encourage other hoarders that we can clean up the mess…and be free of the anxiety.

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