I posted my recent video on YouTube where I show my second most hoarded room in the house. It felt overwhelming posting my deepest darkest secret for the world to see. I’m so afraid of the judgment people will place on me. I’m still very vulnerable and in the healing process. I see what they say about the people on the TLC Hoarder’s show: they are dirty, they are disgusting, they are lazy and selfish. We are none of those things. We are hard working, loving, caring people in the community. Chances are, you already know someone that is a hoarder. But they are keeping it a huge secret from the rest of the world. One day I will reveal who I am. But for now during my healing process, I will reveal the hoarded items in my home.
In this episode I had to make some returns and buy supplies for a fall wreath. The problem is: these are my trigger stores, the stores I love buying stuff from! I’m starting to think I’m a shopaholic as well as a hoarder. There is such an adrenaline rush when I buy something new for my home. It sounds so silly to admit I am attached to stuff. But it’s a real emotion and I’m ready to break these bad habits. I was very proud of myself for going into Hobby Lobby and Target and did not buy anything except for what I really needed.
This is so exciting to announce that I finally have a completely cleaned and organized room in my house! And I did it all by myself! No therapists, no help from someone else…all from my desire to heal from my hoarding! I started with the smallest room in the house for the quick win! I called it my “Clutter Snowball!” (Just like the Debt Snowball but for crap!) I bravely went through all the emotions of anxiety, fear, the need to pull it out of the trash…and I can out victoriously! I love seeing how my bathroom looks now! I’m excited to start on the next smallest room in the house. The joy in the end is worth the anxiety in the beginning!
In this episode I organize all the makeup into categories. I didn’t realize that putting like with like was already an organizational system called the KonMari Method. After seeing how much makeup I already had…I decided to go on a No Spend Challenge at Ulta and Sephora. Definitely for September with the ambition to extend that until Christmas!
I have been cleaning out my small bathroom for a few weeks now. It seems harder to get it done quickly when I have the kids home for summer. While cleaning out the bottom drawer, I found an American Eagle gold coin! That is absolutely crazy that I had something of such value placed carelessly in a bathroom drawer. It should be placed in a safe or deposit box at the bank. But it makes me wonder…do I overvalue all my objects and that is why I hold onto everything? Is there no value scale I set for my belongings? Is it that I have so much stuff that value has become too gray? These are questions that I must investigate about myself. The best way I do that is spending my quiet time in meditation. It always gives me direction and self reflection.
It’s Back to School time and normally I spend a lot of money during this process! But this year, I am “shopping” from my stockpile bin before I head to the store! I tend to buy multiples of school supplies when they are dirt cheap. Like 10 packs of crayons when they are 50 cents each. Or 7 packs of glue sticks when they are a dollar. Sometimes the cute themed pencils, erasers, notebooks trigger me into buying it because I used to love them when I was a child. Even though my children do not need it, I bought it to bring back a fun childhood memories. My goal is to use what I already have, spend less money on buying what I still need and not get triggered by buying all the cheap deals!
Every year we go to the shore and enjoy our yearly traditions of beach and boardwalk. We love spending time playing in the ocean, eating the yummy boardwalk goodies like fudge, caramel popcorn and crab fries. We always go to the boardwalk amusement park and ride all the fun rides. I also enjoy shopping: new sunglasses, new sundresses, new Havaianas Flip Flops for myself. For my children I like to buy fun spinning toys, new plushies and t-shirts. This trip will be a little different because I need to stick to my 2 rules: I need more stuff going out than coming in and enjoy the experiences & not more souvenirs. So for our mini vacation, I decided to stick to those rules as much as I could! And I’m glad to report that I did very well! I truly enjoyed the moments together as a family instead of enjoying the moments of shopping for new things!
I am digging through my little bathroom so I can have a small room perfectly clean, Whoo Hoo! As I continue sorting through the other side of the sink, it’s clear that I have some sort of make-up addiction. All my beautiful make-up palettes full of pigment, sparkle and creative potential is a rush of dopamine to my soul! It triggers my creativity to create different looks and change the appearance of my face! But when is it too much make-up and crosses over to an addiction? When I don’t even know what I have? When it cannot fit in my bathroom drawers and make-up cases? As I clean everything up, I have been pairing like with like so I can see exactly how much of it I have. That why I can make a decision on what to keep and what to toss. I also noticed that I hold onto empty boxes. I don’t even know why I do that. Well, maybe I do for some things. I like to keep it in the box so it still has that brand new feeling when I use it! Or if I don’t like it, I keep the box for an easier return to the store. For whatever reason I attach to it, I hold onto the empty boxes. But in my video posted right below, I made sure I was tossing them out. It actually felt pretty good too!
Last week we went on a family vacation to visit my sister in the Chicago area. I focused on enjoying new experiences rather than shopping and buying tons of souvenirs. I normally would have bought everything from Sears Tower jellybean banks to “The Bean” magnets and Chicago Cubs shirts for the children. But instead I decided to enjoy more experiences with the family. We went up onto the Skydeck at the Willis Tower (Sears Tower) and enjoyed all the beautiful views of the city. We went on the huge Ferris Wheel at the Navy Pier, took the Architecture Boat Tour and devoured an original Chicago Dog! We stopped at many places and I had to stop myself from buying all the souvenirs. Instead I snapped a ton of pictures and videos. We did end up buying one thing for each of the children. To our surprise there were Beluga Whales at the Shedd Aquarium! My son absolutely loves them and we bought him a plush Beluga Whale. He has carried it with him everywhere. My other son enjoyed a Shark light-up spin toy that he laughs & plays with. Allowing one special toy that they both love was way better than buying a bunch of crappy souvenirs from each place we visited. As for their hoarder mommy who needs something from every place outside their home, I will print out all the photos and created an old school album of our trip. Lord knows I have 10 empty photo albums that I can use! I’m sure this might be normal for most people…but as a hoarder this is a big step to healing myself and breaking old habits!
There has been a change of plans since my last video. Since I had my first fail…I decided to start with the smallest room first. You have heard of the “debt snowfall” so I’m going to call this the “clutter snowball.” That way I can get the quick victory and feel successful in having a completely clean room!