I had my first failure in my journey of freeing myself of hoarding, I fell back into old habits. I slowly starting buying stuff I didn’t need again. I gradully started filling the rooms I cleaned again. I steadily started going back into my old mindset. But that is okay. It is okay to fail. It teaches you what does not work anymore. It teaches you to think differently, to solve the problem with a new idea. You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it. I have to think differently this time.
My first rule was working: “I need more stuff going out than coming in.” When I was faithful to it, my rooms started getting cleaner by giving away or selling stuff. The problem is that I started breaking it a month into it. So in that time my mind did not successful keep the new habit. I had a moment of weakness. I went into Hobby Lobby for just one thing. As soon as I grabbed a shopping cart, I knew I was too weak to stick with a single item. All the beautiful decorations just seemed to allure me, “I’ll look beautiful on your fireplace!” “You’ve been so good, I’ll sparkle in your bathroom!” I quickly fell into the shoppers high and excitedly put items into my cart. It was euphoric watching the cashier apply 50% off to all my new found treasures! And then I got home and quickly put the whole bag in the corner of my room. I squirreled it away like I do with a lot of other treasures I bring home. You see, I didn’t clear the space out yet but I imagined that when I do clear the area, I’ll put it up. Like all the other bags I’ve forgotten about.
So how do I solve the problem? Well, I take a break from Hobby Lobby, Ulta, Sephora and all the other “trigger stores” that make me weak. At least, I cannot go into these stores by myself for awhile. I need to use up everything I already have in the house first before I venture to the store. If I NEED something from Hobby Lobby again, I’ll bring my husband (oy vey) He’ll quickly remind me that I only need to purchase the ONE item or what is on the list. I also need to change my mindset from feeling rewarded when I purchase something into feeling proud about not buying it! Or better yet, the reward is that I didn’t spend the money and get to keep it in my bank account. Perhaps not as exciting as beautiful gray distressed lantern…but a growing bank account number is exhilarating! I think the reward should be more fulfilling, like a vacation getaway! Enjoy experiences more than stuff. I think I just thought of Rule #2!! Enjoy experiences more than stuff! It’s time to regroup and continue my journey forward!